'Long before anyone realised it, one of my aunts knew'

GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER is characterized by persistent worry or fear. People with this disorder worry about a number of concerns, such as health problems or finances, and may have a general sense that something bad is going to happen.

PANIC DISORDER is marked by recurrent panic attacks that include symptoms such as sweating, trembling, shortness of breath or a feeling of choking, a pounding heart or rapid heart rate, and feelings of dread.

These attacks often happen suddenly, without warning. People who experience panic attacks often become fearful about when the next episode will occur, which can cause them to change or restrict their normal activities.

PHOBIAS are intense fears about certain objects for example spiders or snakes, or situations such as flying in airplanes that are distressing or intrusive.

Social Anxiety Disorder is also known as social phobia. People with this disorder are fearful of social situations in which they might feel embarrassed or judged. They typically feel nervous spending time in social settings, feel self-conscious in front of others, and worry about being rejected by or offending others.
 

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an extreme anxiety disorder that can occur in the aftermath of a traumatic or life-threatening event. PTSD can be thought of as a panic attack that rarely, if ever, lets up. Symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks or nightmares about the incident, hypervigilance, startling easily, withdrawing from others, and avoiding situations that remind you of the event.

Separation Anxiety Disorder:  While separation anxiety is a normal stage of development, if anxieties intensify or are persistent enough to get in the way of school or other activities.

WHY YOU SHOULD SEEK HELP:

While self-help coping strategies for anxiety can be very effective, it is important to seek help for these symptoms since they can cause significant distress and affect your life and your relationships at home, in school, at work, and in other important areas.

Since certain drugs and supplements can cause anxiety, your doctor will also want to know about any prescriptions, over-the-counter medications, herbal remedies, and recreational drugs you’re taking.

‘For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love, and of sound mind.’ 2 Timothy 1:7

TESTIMONIAL

It is true, that when persons believe that you are quiet, they tend to want to take advantage of you. My grandmother would say if you do not act like a virago, or exhibit some level of boorish behaviour most persons, especially those who do not have your best interest at heart, are likely to try and push you around.  If given the opportunity, it is likely they will walk all over you like a door mat.

While growing up, I experienced this situation on too many occasions to recount, and even as an adult, I have had to really put people in their places, to the point of cutting them off completely. Not only because of my personality, but for my own sanity.

As a child, there were those who felt that because I was not only quiet but from what they considered a poor background, that I should remain at the same status quo.  A sort of rags to riches scenario was ever constant in my mind, and many nights I dreamed that like my other family members who were blazing their own trail of success, I would accomplish similar or even better results.

As I walked and more often than not ran through the red dirt, bare-feet; many times, I looked up towards the sky especially when the rain pelted through the core of my eyes, I prayed and asked God to direct and define my purpose in this life. As I laid in bed many nights, listening to the chirping crickets under my window, and the distant sounds of other night critters synchronizing in their communication, I knew that one day I would realize my dreams.

I would never remain the same; definitely not the little girl that my mother gave to my father who my grandmother took in at seven months old. The girl that my aunts and uncles helped to raise despite the physical distances between them and us. I knew there was a purpose for my life and buried deep within my soul, I knew I could accomplish anything with God’s grace.  This awakening happened long before I even started basic school; I knew I was special.

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Long before anyone realised it, one of my aunts knew. In fact, she was the one who gave me the name I now have. Thankfully she did as I was not quite sure if Kayo would have been a fit for my personality.

Most Jamaican children, started basic school at age three. I skipped that level, because I was already able to read, write and speak fluently. My aunt used the wooden window at the back of the old kitchen, and a piece of plywood attached to the kitchen door, and there my early lessons began. She used charcoal from the wood fire and pieces of chalk she gathered from school and taught me not just the basics; I was her guinea pig!

I was also very feisty and gave my family the lip many times; and yes, I was punished! I was also very stubborn and a daredevil perhaps, but one with perception and a spirit of discernment; once I set my mind in one way, that was it.

One day I deliberately stayed at school because I did not want to go with the assigned persons who were to take me home. I was uncomfortable going home with them and for some strange reason, I waited on my aunt, who had no clue I was waiting on her.

My aunt who was coming from school, a good ten miles away, stopped at the parish library, went to collect the mail at the post office and by chance walked through the school as a short cut. Lo and behold, I was sitting alone on my lunch pan, on the school’s steps; waiting for her. I knew she was coming…

Just as I thought, she rescued me! This was late afternoon, and had she not done so, although I was confident, she would, there probably would have been a manhunt out for me thereafter.

I was also the little entertainer! My family would visit a popular spot in the town and I was always taken along. I would kick off my shoes, stand on the seat in my aunt’s socks that were folded over because they were too big and I would put on quite a show; dancing and singing whatever I learnt at school.

My oldest uncle was always a part of the cheering team; and even when he visited the home, he would often bribe me with treats to entertain the family on the veranda steps; and I always obliged…even if I did foolishness!

On several of his visits to the home, I was the teacher, and he was the only student, and when I conducted church, I was the pastor and he was the entire congregation.

By the time I started grade one at infant school, I was moved into the second grade by term two. I literally flew through the infant school system, as I was way ahead of my peers. By the time I started grade one in all age school, I was already performing at the grade three level.

However, this journey wasn’t seamless! As prepared and bright as I was, I didn’t have a name- I was not registered at birth, and I certainly did not have a birth certificate. But I couldn’t be home schooled forever!

All my aunts, uncles and cousins had attended that same school, and thanks to my grandmother’s quick thinking, and some pleading with the school authorities my educational journey was not derailed.

One of my aunts who was now a trained teacher and was teaching at a prep school in the town, was also instrumental in getting me started at school and that I was not in need of anything.

My absentee father when contacted prior to my official attendance at the infant school, told my aunt to set me down for school that term and I would start attending the next school term. He was already a fledging spirit in my life; and after that contact, he was never heard from again, until.

HOW TO STOP WORRYING

Are you plagued by constant worries and anxious thoughts? These tips can help calm your worried mind and ease anxiety.

TIP ONE: CREATE A DAILY ‘WORRY’ PERIOD

It’s tough to be productive in your daily activities when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts and distracting you from work, school, or your home life. This is where the strategy of postponing worrying can help. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of an anxious thought, give yourself permission to have it, but put off dwelling on it until later.

Create a ‘worry period.’ Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.

Write down your worries. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it and then continue about your day. Remind yourself that you will have time to think about it later, so there is no need to worry about it right now. Also, writing down your thoughts—on a pad or on your phone or computer—is much harder work than simply thinking them, so your worries are more likely to lose their power.

Go over your ‘worry list’ during the worry period. If the thoughts you wrote down are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you have specified for your worry period. As you examine your worries in this way, you will often find it easier to develop a more balanced perspective. And if your worries don’t seem important any more, simply cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day. (SOURCE: HelpGuide.Org)

Keisha A. Hill is media practitioner and communications consultant. Send feedback to kanhillcommunications@gmail.com or editorial@oldharbournews.com. Visit Jamaican Chronicles to read more blogs by the author.