'What I have done wrong over the years was to remain silent'

Whether in good times or bad, most people say that stress interferes at least moderately with their lives. Chronic stress can affect your health, causing symptoms from headaches, high blood pressure, and chest pain to heart palpitations, skin rashes, and loss of sleep.

PHYSICAL SIGNS OF STRESS

•             chest pain or a pounding heart

•             fatigue

•             reduced interest in sex

•             nausea, diarrhoea or constipation

•             getting colds more often

•             muscle tension, pains and headaches

•             episodes of fast, shallow breathing and excessive sweating

•             loss or change of appetite

•             sleeping problems

NON-PHYSICAL SIGNS OF STRESS

•             feeling overwhelmed or frustrated

•             feeling guilty or unhappy

•             being irritable

•             losing confidence and being indecisive

•             thinking negatively

•             having racing thoughts

•             memory problems

•             excessive worrying

LEARN TO REDUCE THE IMPACT OF STRESS

You can learn how to reduce the impact of stress and manage your symptoms

• Physical activity is a proven way to reduce stress. Regular participation in aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease overall levels of tension, elevate and stabilize mood, and improve sleep and self-esteem. Other effective methods include mind-body practices of breathing exercises, yoga, and meditation.
• Relaxation techniques have been used to assist in the treatment of phobias, panic disorder, and depression, as well as providing relief for people in stressful situations. Find out more about complementary and alternative medicine.

‘And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.’ Matthew 17:20

TESTIMONIAL:

Within my conscious mind, I had done nothing wrong…well not quite! What I have done wrong over the years was to remain silent while I struggled with all the mental, emotional and at times physical abuse I encountered throughout my childhood into adulthood.

Some were very traumatic to say the least! All the time, I told myself I would be fine; I am strong and I will get over whatever situation may come my way.  I am a firm believer in God, and throughout this tumultuous and sometimes very unforgiving journey, He held me firmly in the palm of His hands.

I prayed earnestly and sometimes incessantly through many of my circumstances until I really felt God was tired of me. Many times, God showed up and delivered; but there comes a time, when with Him calming the storm, you have to step out, and also help yourself; walk on the water, but never take your eyes off Him.

It is often said faith without works is dead, and that rings a solid bell; louder than the Notre-Dame de Paris. You have to take several steps back and evaluate yourself; self-introspection is important and even more critical are the choices you make coherently or incoherently, that affects your earthly experience.

Life and death is certainly in the power of the tongue; therefore, no matter how difficult your circumstances are, you must speak victory over your life and more importantly, speak life into the universe. Whatever you think, perceive and focus on will become your reality. Even if you are thinking negative thoughts, stay focused and – do not even- consider to whisper it from your mouth.

In this lifetime, there are somethings that your family, your church and even your friends can teach you; but most things you have to learn on your own. At the end of the day, you spend all of your life with yourself.

Initially after the first week of medication, I started to feel a little better; but gradually I began feeling worse. I knew something was wrong but I did not immediately summarise that it could be the medication, since I was told it would take two weeks for my body to become accustomed to it. They were so wrong!

I got progressively worse, and by the third week, I was so weak, I could barely get out of bed. I called the doctor several times, and I was told it was not that medication! My iron level was low and based on his initial assessment I was also prescribed iron tablets to be taken three times per day. Strangely, for the three weeks I still felt weak; I could barely move from my bedroom to the bathroom without having difficulty breathing.

I could not bear it anymore and went on Google, and began researching the side effects of the medication. Boom! Well that doctor had me fooled. The list of side effects was longer than the meandering road through the curves and turns of Fern Gully; you could probably add the length and depths of Holland Bamboo to it as well.

Gripped with fear, I immediately contacted my family physician, and another doctor I knew in another town, and both of them told me to stop the medication immediately. It sounded easy, but I had to be tapered off, while one of them tried to find alternatives to treat my condition.

Tapering off was not as easy as ordering pizza, even it was one topping, and it literally took weeks for the medication to leave my system. I don’t think the Mona Reservoir had as much water as me; as I tried to flush my body of the toxins.

The side effects bowled me over, and there were times that I could not even perform basic functions for myself. It really was a life and death experience.

There was a point when I prayed and asked God to take me home; he answered and said it wasn’t my time yet. The days were long and painful! When I fell asleep, and awoke in the mornings, I dreaded having to go through the day. Sometimes I didn’t sleep as well, as one of the side effects was insomnia.  So, while being treated for anxiety, my situation was further exasperated. I now had double the symptoms I had before. Imagine that!

I had very limited assistance, and while I conversed with my physician, I had a very kind neighbour who checked in on me; however, my family and friends that I had confided in many of them lived in other sections of the island or overseas. It was difficult for them to be physically there for me.

Physically, I practically went through that experience alone. I weathered the storm like a true pirate; Captain Jack Sparrow the main protagonist, played by Johnny Depp, from ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ The Series had nothing on me; I really felt like the ‘Black Pearl’ going through Shipwrecked Cove.

With dwindling health came dwindling finances, but like Djimon Hounsou in Amistad, a 1997 American historical drama film directed by Steven Spielberg, based on the true story of the events in 1839 aboard the slave ship La Amistad … I will call into the past and ask my ancestors to come and help me.’

As I tried to recover and get my life back on track, the wool that covered my eyes was lifted; my eyes were opened to the persons that were genuine and played a pivotal role in my life; those I could lean on during the times of adversity.  This was an important learning curve for me during this time., despite the difficulties.

Thanks to my faith in God, and my resilient spirit, I am still alive to tell this story, so that others can benefit from my challenges and experiences and get a better understanding of the illness.

Like Samson, in the Old Testament, legendary Israelite warrior and judge, and divinely inspired leader, renowned for the prodigious strength that he derived from his uncut hair, the Spirit of the Lord is upon me and He will give me the strength to persevere.

We are a spirit in a body, and although we choose our earthly experiences, sometimes things happen along the way to dramatically change our pre-ordained lives…

HOW TO STOP WORRYING?

Are you plagued by constant worries and anxious thoughts? These tips can help calm your worried mind and ease anxiety.

TIP TWO: Challenge Anxious Thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worry, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more threatening than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every anxious thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble.

These types of thoughts, known as cognitive distortions, include:

• All-or-nothing thinking, looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground. “If everything is not perfect, I’m a total failure.”
• Over generalization from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever. “I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”
• Focusing on the negatives while filtering out the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right. “I got the last question on the test wrong. I’m an idiot.”
• Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count. “I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”
• Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader: “I can tell she secretly hates me.” Or a fortune teller: “I just know something terrible is going to happen.”
• Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. “The pilot said we are in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”
• Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. “I feel like such a fool. Everyone must be laughing at me.”
• Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules. “I should never have tried starting a conversation with her. I’m such a moron.”
• Labelling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings. “I’m a failure; I’m boring; I deserve to be alone.”
• Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. “It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”

HOW TO CHALLENGE THESE THOUGHTS?

During your ‘worry period’, challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself:

• What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
• Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
• What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen? If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
• Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
• What would I say to a friend who had this worry? (SOURCE: www. helpguide.org;  www.healthline.com ;  www.adaa.org ;  www.headsup.org.au)

Keisha A. Hill is media practitioner and communications consultant. Send feedback to kanhillcommunications@gmail.com or editorial@oldharbournews.com. Visit Jamaican Chronicles to read more blogs by the author.