Conquering Fear and Anxiety: In the Midst

My grandmother went to the post office quite often and on some occasions, I would accompany her. The area in the post office for collecting mail, was separated into two lines, and while my grandmother stood patiently in one, I fidgeted restlessly in the other.

Oftentimes to the ire of the other adults in the line, and much to the amusement of my grandmother, who chided them for their unkind remarks; or asked the person behind me to hold the space in the line, so I could go and sit on the steps outside.

To this day, I wondered, how these adults expected an eight-year-old child to stand still in a line that positioned itself outside of the building and formed its way down to the steps, sometimes with persons joining the line in the parking lot.  There were many times I wished we had a letter box, or even a postman that would deliver our mail. 

There was no sitting area, and I have often wondered if in recent years, this problem was ever solved; even the elderly had to stand in line or sit on the steps to wait their turn.  Tired and weary, by the time I reached to the counter, and tip toed up to the window, to ask the post mistress for our mail, I would forget our names.

The post mistresses were always kind to me, and my grandmother. My grandmother would laugh, and share jokes with them, and she knew each of them by name. I soon learnt their names, and eventually as I got older, I started collecting the mail from the post office myself.

Most of the mail, consisted of utility bills, that my grandmother said at the time, had to be paid on time, especially the ‘light’ bill or ‘JPS would come and cut off the light.’ There was mail for my aunts and uncles, although most them had already left home, and were living elsewhere. Our home address was the mailing address for everyone’s mail it seemed. Usually there was none for me!

The fingers of the post mistress flipped twice, and paused. She gave the letter a second look and passed it under the opening in the window. To my amazement, my name was on it, in bold writing!

I screamed with glee, and leaving the other mail on the counter, I ran to my grandmother in the next line. I could not contain myself! My grandmother, although happy that I had received a letter, ushered me back to the counter, as the post mistress and the other persons in the line laughed at my antics.

I wiggled, danced and skipped, and I couldn’t wait until the post mistress, to me it now seemed like an eternity to get to the end of the letter pile. Freedom! I tucked the letter in my pocket, and gave my grandmother the rest; literally tripping over myself to get outside to open it. It was from my uncle; I instantly recognised the address, and frantically tried to open the letter to see what was inside.

It was not an ordinary envelope and after many attempts I realized there were actually instructions on the outside on how to open it. Finally, it was opened, and I read the contents of the letter, grinning from ear to ear. He had kept his promise!  Not only did he write, but he also sent writing paper and envelopes so I could respond to him.

When my grandmother got through in her line, I could not wait to read the letter to her. Invariably he and my aunt had reached home safely, and was looking forward to settling back home. He was excited to write to me, and hoped that I would respond. He shared that he had three grown daughters, and would take care of me as one of his own.

It seemed like a dream, and several times I pinched myself to ensure that I was still awake. As my grandmother sat beside me on the steps, we rested our legs, and I excitedly read and re-read the letter. I could not wait to get home and show my aunt and read it to her as well.

I was in seventh heaven! As we walked home, hand in hand with my grandmother’ s, my mind ran amok, as I thought of all the things that I was going to write. I smiled from ear to ear; there was indeed a change on the horizon…

ADVICE CORNER

HOW DOES STRESS CAUSE ANXIETY?  (PART THREE)

Is Stress Killing Your Relationship? You Are Not Alone

Stress in other areas of our life’s spills over into our personal relationships. Work-life conflict is a top source of stress today and research has shown over and over again that we bring the stress and strain from work and other areas of our lives home with us, hurting our personal relationships.

How Stress Can Affect Relationships

• Stress spills into our personal lives in many ways, affecting the quality of our close relationships. When you are stressed, you become more withdrawn and distracted, and less affectionate.
• You also have less time for leisure activities, which leads to alienation between you and your partner. Stress also brings out people’s worst traits, which may lead their partners to withdraw as well, because who wants to be around someone when they are acting their worst.
• Over time, the relationship becomes more superficial and couples become even more withdrawn, experiencing more conflict, distress, and alienation in the relationship.
• Stress depletes your cognitive resources. It also increases vigilance. This means when you are stressed you are more likely to notice negative behaviours and less able to stop yourself from reacting badly to them.
• It also means that you are less patient and less able to give your partner the benefit of the doubt when they behave badly.
• Stress also makes people more irritable and hostile, which increases the likelihood of fighting. When fighting, stress may make people less able to listen or show interest and empathy. In short,
• Stress turns nonissues into issues and prevents your ability to deal with the issue constructively.
• Stress also affects our physical and mental health and places additional strain on the relationship.

HOW TO STOP WORRYING

Are you plagued by constant worries and anxious thoughts? These tips can help calm your worried mind and ease anxiety.

TIP FOUR: Interrupt The Worry Cycle

If you worry excessively, it can seem like negative thoughts are running through your head on endless repeat. You may feel like you are spiralling out of control, going crazy, or about to burn out under the weight of all this anxiety. But there are steps you can take right now to interrupt all those anxious thoughts and give yourself a time out from relentless worrying.

• Get Up and Get Moving

Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being.

• Meditate

Meditation works by switching your focus from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past to what’s happening right now. By being fully engaged in the present moment, you can interrupt the endless loop of negative thoughts and worries.

• Practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This can help you break the endless loop of worrying by focusing your mind on your body instead of your thoughts. By alternately tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body, you release muscle tension in your body. And as your body relaxes, your mind will follow.

• Try Deep Breathing

When you worry, you become anxious and breathe faster, often leading to further anxiety. But by practicing deep breathing exercises, you can calm your mind and quiet negative thoughts.

SOURCE: www. helpguide.org; http://www.healthline.com; http://www.adaa.org; http://www.headsup.org.au

Keisha A. Hill is media practitioner and communications consultant. Send feedback to kanhillcommunications@gmail.com or editorial@oldharbournews.com. Visit Jamaican Chronicles to read more blogs by the author.