Conquering Fear and Anxiety: Taking Common Entrance Exam

Every morning, several little birds congregated on my windowsill chirping and singing sweet melodies. With sleep still very much in my eyes, gingerly, I would move the curtains, just enough to watch them put on their ‘Broadway ‘show. After a few minutes, they would fly into the nearby trees and disappear, only to journey to my window again the next morning.

This happened for several years and they became my alarm; my wake-up call to the start of a new day! On several occasions I would open my windows, only for them to fly away at the least bit of shuffling they heard. It was always a pleasure to see them, and they helped to brighten my darkest days.

I was almost ten years old and I looked forward to my birthday. Not only would I be celebrating ten years on this place called Earth, but I was looking forward to sitting my Common Entrance Examinations that would give me the opportunity to attend high school. I still did not have a birth certificate, but nevertheless, I was confident that God would work a miracle. I wasn’t worried, and while at school, like all my classmates, we discussed the schools of our choice that we would attend, once we were successful.

My class teacher allowed me to participate in extra classes, and this was definitely a plus for me. Whether I was on the morning or afternoon shift, I was never late. For the afternoon shift, I ran to school, in the pelting sun, literally breathless to join the other students that would congregate outside on the landing or a section of the school to await our teacher.

I was happy! Extra lessons before or after school, and extra-curricular activities as well. I was certainly very involved in every aspect of my school life. It was at this juncture that I developed a passion for the creative arts; a part of me that has not waned even now as an adult.  From as early as grade two, as a class we would participate in the annual Jamaica Cultural Development Commissions (JCDC) competitions.

By grade three I became a sole performer and another classmate of mine, also a sole performer, we would practice together whenever we had the chance. Overall, our school was always successful at the finals, and during that time we earned several medals for the school and ourselves.

I loved reciting ‘Ms Lou’ poems, and really getting into my performances; I would imagine myself, just like ‘Ms Lou’ on stage, and everyone being captivated by my performance.

My favourite poem among them was ‘Nuh Lickle Twang’ and my teachers and classmates would often jokingly, imitate me when I had finished this performance. I loved ‘Ms Lou’s’ work so much that I often dreamed of being on centre stage like her and taking our language and culture on the international stage.

Several years later I got the opportunity to ‘meet’ the late Louise Bennett-Coverley…it was a bitter sweet moment for me; the woman I revered; I covered her state funeral, barely getting a  physical glimpse of the woman I often dreamed to be; just her flag draped coffin, from its arrival at the Norman Manley International Airport to her burial at the National Heroes Park.

I was amazed by our Jamaican culture and being actively involved in these performances made me very happy. When I practiced at home on the veranda steps, my grandmother would remind me of the days when I would entertain my uncle, and everyone else who would visit the home. She always cheered me on, and my cousins while they lived with us, also became my audience.

Just as cheerful as the birds that came by my window each morning, was my ever growing outgoing and witty personality. I started writing poems regularly, and included in my repertoire were short stories, that my teachers would submit to the Children’s Own newspaper. They were often published, and you can just imagine my glee and excitement, when I saw my poem or story and, not to mention my name! ‘Me glad bag buss’!

I distinctly remember it was the month of August, that my grandmother received a package on one of our visits to the post office. She handed me the mail as usual to sort through, and there was a letter from one of my aunts. My grandmother was very excited, and told me it was for me. I didn’t understand at first; it was registered mail.

Still confused she told me to open it; inside the letter was another letter; and in it were my birth certificate papers! I yelped, I jumped, I screamed, I hugged my grandmother and repeated this scene far too many times than I can remember.

God had come through again for me! There were only two names on my birth certificate; mine, my aunt and a witness signature. A reality I have had to live with for all my life…many questions have been asked and never enough answers.

However, I was still happy! September was less than a few days away, and it was during this month, that all the documents had to be sent in for me to sit my Common Entrance Examinations…

ADVICE CORNER

HOW DOES STRESS CAUSE ANXIETY?

Give Yourself A Bedtime

With your busy schedule, there’s no time for sleep, right? Some workaholics brag about only needing three or four hours of sleep a night, as if to say, “I’m more determined and committed than everyone else.”

But no matter what you might tell yourself, you are not a robot. Humans need sleep to function properly, so unless you beamed in from some nearby planet, this also applies to you.

Whether you deal with insomnia, purposely limit your amount of sleep, or you are a self-professed night owl, chronic sleep deprivation makes you susceptible to anxiety.

Do yourself and everyone around you a favour and get eight to nine hours of sleep every night. Develop a bedtime routine to read a book or do something relaxing before bed. The better prepared you are to get a good night’s sleep, the better quality of sleep you will have, which leads to a better morning as well. (SOURCE: www. helpguide.org; http://www.healthline.com; http://www.adaa.org; www.headsup.org.au, www. stress.org, www.cambridge-credit.org , www.thebalance.com, www.healthline.com)

Keisha A. Hill is media practitioner and communications consultant. Send feedback to kanhillcommunications@gmail.com or editorial@oldharbournews.com. Visit Jamaican Chronicles to read more blogs by the author.